This was written whilst trying to get my daughter back to sleep tonight. Just a random train of thought and ultimately pointless!
Oh SOS Titanic, how I miss you…
I’m often torn as to whether to sell games I don’t play very much and know deep down I probably won’t again. I’ve sold a few games in the past like Mondo, Coney Island and Survive! as they were perhaps a bit too light for me. I sold Mice and Mystics because as gorgeous as it was I just didn’t enjoy playing it. I kind of regret it because it was such an attractive game, I feel so bad now when I think of those adorable cheese tokens! I definitely regret selling SOS Titanic because it was actually a good solo game but I didn’t like playing solo back then. Now of course I want to play more solo games!
I think the times I sold games were probably ‘desperate for spare cash’ moments. I look at the collection I share with my partner and know there’s a couple I would probably not choose to play again in a hurry. Or maybe at all. Like The Producer (damn shame, if you’re interested see my review from February). But nowadays I can’t seem to get up the nerve to sell a game. Mainly because of the regret factor. What if I sell it then have an overwhelming urge to play it when it’s gone?! (Like SOS Titanic) I feel torn because there’s lots and lots of games I want and I simply can’t afford them all, and there are games sitting on the shelf going to waste! My partner Jon said it would be nice to simply give games away that you don’t play and let someone else enjoy them? Hmmm. That’s a nice idea. But now I consider myself to be a games collector I can’t bear the thought of parting with any. I like that I don’t buy tons of new games all the time and make the most of the ones I do have, but the ones I don’t play are like thorns in my side when my wishlist is ever growing.
I guess buying and hoarding games isn’t so bad. People collect everything from stamps to lipsticks to technology, to mugs to old newspapers. I guess one mans trash is another mans treasure as they say.
Are there any games you’ve had for months that you haven’t played yet? Any you have sold or given away and regret? Or any that you know you won’t play but can’t part with? Please share! It will make me feel less weird.
Feeling you Skeletor …
It’s been over a month since I had my eureka moment and started the scary process of actually putting my thoughts down and beginning a journey. I honestly think that’s the scariest thing you can do, and you can only go upwards from there.
So far my game has had a a few major design tweaks and a full redesign that I am currently working on now. I play tested it a few times and thought I loved my idea. But when I started playing it I realised it wasn’t flowing and I was actually only finding one aspect of it enjoyable. So I went back to the drawing board to figure out why this was. Then a week of total blankness where nothing was happening and my brain had definitely melted. Now I think i’ve got it, and I know where I’m going with it, but it’s going to be a hard road ahead. I could find that the same thing happens a few times before I achieve a truly good game. So this brought me to my first major lesson; have patience and don’t lose heart. When I have an idea and start creating something I am so gung-ho about it, and if I don’t meet my own expectations quickly enough I feel impatient and frustrated. In short I start fighting with myself. My original estimate of having something ready in a year or even 18 months was a stretch. I’ve had to reign myself in a bit and think ‘ok, this is going to take a while, it’s going to take a lot of hard work and patience but stick with it’ and I’ve got to give myself a break here and there for not meeting my own self imposed deadlines. I’d rather have something amazing and well thought out than rushed and not ready. Also the more times that passes the more games I’ll play, the more research I’ll do and hopefully the better product I’ll have.
I can’t wait to start sharing what it’s all about but it’s still so early on so I don’t want to jump the gun, but the theme is based on my other favourite topic; I am a self confessed horror, paranormal and supernatural junkie. I had a few ideas about themes and this is definitely the one I knew most about that somehow fitted in with the mechanics I had in mind. It’s also going to be a card game. Because as you know from reading my blog or seeing my Instagram I am pretty obsessed with cards.
Also i’ve had to look on the positive side of things, because I can get quite down on myself. I was worrying that my ‘failures’ in the past (not getting the job I sought after my degree, opening and closing an online shop etc etc) would mean that this might end up being something which fails epically. But I was thinking maybe all those things that have happened in the past have actually paved way for making a success of something now, because all of those things I didn’t succeed at I did learn things from, I did acquire skills I didn’t have before. And hey, i’ve created a life and have a amazing baby who I have been responsible for and nurtured for almost a year, and made it through one of the hardest times i’ve ever had, so that’s pretty damn special. I really need to re-read this when I have a down moment!
So it’s going to be another week and another balancing act of working, looking after my daughter (who is an almost 11 month old bundle of joy and destruction) playing games and designing my own. Who knows where i’ll be by the end of it, but everyday i’m always one step closer to where I was yesterday.